Once upon a time
Quantity overcame quality
Newness was had
And most head was bad
But numbers don’t lie
More is better, no?
No?! Well that’s what they said
Words stapled in my head
I guess I’m mistaken
To have been so taken
By a boy with ritmo

El primero smoked to win
Looked so lonely, acted even more-so
But we split the bill evenly
Bid farewell with a wary eye
I knew we’d be strangers again
Acquaintance made, soon lost
Nothing gained in conversation glossed
With empty plans, switch-hitter accents
And ‘yeahiknowwhatyoumean’s

Purple sauntered over with promise
Schoolgirl status was displayed
Is that what you call it? ¿La cresta?
Afraid to leave the flat
Television dates become daytime rapes
He was my first and my last
So colorful, so happy
I was jealous of his bravado
And clung to his number

You sent me messages
From the dirtiest of addresses
Not really my type
More like not at all
But you were there
And it was almost fall
Where’d you learn to speak English?
Preventing a rerun of lunch
All over your chest
Proved harder than my hunch
But I gave my best
And reveled in your mediocrity
As you exited me and my afternoon

This one was on a game show
At least that was the photo
He sent me in the blinking box
The box that brought cocks
Turned out to be just that
A vision in lime
Pressed for time
You’re not even going to introduce yourself?
Offer me a glass of water?
Well fuck you and fuck me
And hurry the fuck up
My boss is waiting

Invite me over to enjoy a view
Of the fag neighborhood
Where the pisos are caríssimo
And the people are even cheaper
You’re a stranger as well in this city
Teaching a language
You can barely boast as native
So lay me down and make me squirm
Ecstatic, I’m watched fervently
By nearby neighbors and burning eyes
In a picture frame
But you see those same eyes
And suddenly realize
They’re smiling next to a pair
Of your own from last year’s fair

So another spoke my native tongue
Fought for my native land
Flaunted around native money
And couldn’t have been more foreign
Stay over with me, sure why not
Got a big bed, forget the cot
Like the sheets? 800 count
Casi missed work just trying to mount
No regrets there
I did what I wanted, got what I needed
So take this at face value
But don’t push me so far away
That I can’t use you again

The bilingual came with a bang
Such interest, such talent, me excitó
Smoke me up and drug me down
Chauffeur me around your town
I like your friends but I like mine more
And you’re nothing more
Than a chic little whore
But don’t forget me, you just met me
And inhaled todo lo que me quedaba

El ùltimo de la estación said he was 30
Looked 25, but fucked me over the hill
How artistic you are! What a find!
Someone to appreciate my kind of mind
But a flower you called me
And my petals you caressed
Did I really fall for that?
Or did I want a daddy so bad
I settled for someone who could be mine?

With glasses like his
He should’ve been on TV
I never gave a chance to someone gayer than me
As the chats were lacking
Superficiality shot me down
And I did not want help
So I showed him off, flashed my trophy around
I liked him
But he like-liked me
So he moved a city away
And I said the phone works both ways
Then came the realization
We worked no ways

Hating the side that I’ve been on
Still fearing the opposite
But inviting it half-heartedly
I dive into the king headfirst
Surround me and complete me
Give me what we’ve both had before
What makes you different?
What gives you entrada gratis a mi corazón?
It must be that smile
Because I’d walk the 27 miles
To remember how you feel
And forget how he did
As I leave him behind
To embark on my own adventures
He will have his own
But little do I know
Those affairs will be with his past
And what a blast it will be
When that little text
Travels from east to west
To deliver the message
I expected from day one
See you at the wedding, Adam

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